Brain Goes Bleh

blog:3

Well.

I dunno exactly how long it’s been since I blogged. God….shows where my priorites are.

But anyway. Damn. Got dumped. Pretty hardcore. Do I need to say more?

Lately, it feels as if I’m only being presented with the shell of what he truly is. Just the outside of high is all I’m getting…and I feel as if I’m being slightly neglected.

Just nothing is right. Nothing at all. I don’t feel right anymore. Like I’m not capable of being myself any longer. Especially when people go around just giving information about me. Fucking shit man. I hate it.

Don’t be surprised when I don’t associate with anyone Monday. Cause right now, I am on the brink of tears.

zaiberry:

Practicing hands. Still not very good. :/

Wow sweetie your amazing.:) you have talent keep it up!

zaiberry:

Practicing hands. Still not very good. :/

Wow sweetie your amazing.:) you have talent keep it up!

I’m not spoiled. I promise. But I don’t want everything. because I have it. However……..I’m not all that happy. Well, with a person anyway. I don’t feel the same as I used to I guess. Maybe I’ll feel better eventually.

As of…..now. I am neutral. Or at least I feel that way. I feel like I keep tearing his heart out with everything I do. Goodness….I’m a mess. Lol someone should anonymously send me a bouquet of white roses.

I feel like I’m being used. I’m not myself and I’m distracted alot. For God’s sake I was writing to myself. And the other me had a British accent. Freaking British. How ridiculous can I get??? Ugh….I’ve got to find someone fast…before I lose it completely.

And this cut on my leg freaking hurts too…I know it was an accident but I feel like I did it on purpose. I mean come on… shavings dangerous.

Oh sweet tumblr…the yearn to blog has now been satisfied.

Lately, I feel as if I were pushed aside. Like I was just there for the use. But maybe that’s what jealousy feels like to me. It doesn’t feel pleasant, let me tell you. I want to scream at him and be all, “How could you do that?! And why so early!? And I knew there was something weird going on!!!” Ah, that bastard. Maybe I’ll forget one day. It was my decision after all.

Hmm…I’m kind of shocked actually. I never pegged him as the type to do that. Well, oh well. No use in crying about it. It was his decision and I’m not gonna stop it. But now I’m by myself again. What to do, what to do….

To be honest… you’re such a tragic part of me. And that’s why I hate you so so so badly. I’m fine on my own I’ve discovered….maybe I don’t even need anyone. Except my best buddies of course…but I like where I am and I don’t plan on changing that anytime soon.

On a higher note…school in a few days. I’m excited for distraction:] lol such a bad way to put it…but it’s the truth. I’d rather not lie to myself. Even though I do it on such a daily basis. I think I’m finally discovering myself. You know. The self that doesn’t follow everyone but does her own thing. Her way. But the flip side to that is I don’t want to feel lonely when I’m alone.

You shouldn’t have this much power over me.

You shouldn’t have this much power over me.

I am strong because I am weak. I’m beautiful because I know my flaws. I’m a lover because I am a fighter. I’m fearless because I have been afraid. I’m wise because I have been foolish. & I can laugh because I Have known sadness.

why?

why?

Reblogged from: calechaos via posted by: yournakednow